THINKING ABOUT GATE-CRASHERS

 For several days now, news in the U.S. are covering the pair of gate-crashers who barged into a White House party. Honestly, I don't know about the details because I never bothered to probe into what really happened. I just don't care. It's probably one of those reality-TV superstar -wannabes such as the parents of the balloon boy. 

Gate-crashing is a big thing among Americans. It's absolutely a violation of privacy which Americans can feel dreadful about if you commit this kind of desecration. I learned about this while I worked part-time as a housekeeper for an employer in Manhattan. She hosted a Christmas party for her friends and relatives where some friends of one of her relatives came to the party uninvited. She became so upset that when she  confronted her relative, they ended up in an altercation right at Christmas eve. A fete meant for family get-together turned sour and awry.

There was also one time that I went into a former employer's house in  affluent Scarsdale, New York to pick up all my remaining stuff which I left behind. I called the former employer that I'd be coming on a weekend night. She agreed and told me to come through the back door. When I tapped their  back door on that weekend night, her children who knew me of course, let me in. Inside, the little girls offered me food. Starving, I readily accepted and ate at the playroom together with them. The former employer came to see her kids and saw me eating and chatting up with her tots. She was so surprised and upset that I was there eating her party food. She told me I was not invited and asked why I was there when she did not even ask me to come. I rewound our telephone conversation and told her I'd pay for what I ate. When I left, I told her kids to pass on to her mother the $10.00 I am paying for her "nice dinner."

In America, you could never come to any event uninvited. That's unethical and apparently, a show of contempt. I watched this show where the bridegroom demanded money  from gatecrashers to pay for the food in the reception.  That I guess, would be fair because he demanded for RSVP but, I think I'd never be able to do the same thing to my guests---uninvited or invited.

Gate-crashing is unacceptable here while in my tiny island-nation, gate-crashing is so common and tolerable. In fact, party hosts prepare food estimating the number of potential gate-crashers. It's rude to shove away gate-crashers who are there to join you in celebrating a special day with you. Food is one of God's divine provision and a blessing that you have to share with others whether you know them or not. Even wedding receptions organized in rural provinces are held in big town halls where everybody in that town are welcome to join and partake the food---with or without invitation.

The belief that God provides everything, especially food --a source of nourishing life and health--leads us to bless others by allowing them to taste of what we are blessed with. Food is so important in a Filipino's life and, considered to be God's divine provision accepts gate-crashing also, as inevitably a Filipino's way of life. So, if you want to just barge in a Filipino celebration full of fun, gaiety and merriment amidst a bounty of food, go ahead, the hosts will still welcome you with an open heart and arms.

Have you ever gate-crashed some party? If yes, what was the reaction of the host?

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Comments

[PJ]

you are too kind my friend. i cannot believe the nerve of some people! how dare anyone call you anything like that! that's insane!

i have crashed parties before, but nothing major, and it was way way way back in my early 20's. pretty sure that i got kicked out too. lol. i guess i don't really have a one way or another way opinion on this subject as it would just have to depend on who the person was and how much food i had.

have a wonderful night my friend, and thank you for the shout out. much love to you!

[Femmepower]

Yikes, I've seen this on TV. They said they were invited through email. Well, gate crashing at the White House. Who would have thought? If it happened here in the Phil, maybe it wouldn't be a big issue. Gate crashing is common here,whether you deny it or not. I'm shocked about your experience with your affluent former employer.You wouldn't experience that here.Filipinos are too accommodating to the point of reserving the good food for the visitors rather than the family members.And if we ever spot gate crashers,the most we can do is to stare at them. We're not straightforward enough to confront them...at least that's how we are in the family.

[Clarisse]

I don't know. Maybe coz I'm not deep into the deepest unspoken rules of blogging that I don't take it personally if no one returns a favor, or that little charity for those who I see really need it. Life's too short to take anything too seriously most of the time I guess. I, of course, speak only for myself though *wink*

[Cotton Candy]

Come to think of it, I have been unfair to you too, I visit your blog from time to time, but sometimes I don't really bother to comment -well, intelligent posts deserves an intelligent answer. Most of the time, I am dumbfounded because these are the things that runs in my mind, but you had the right words to say them, so I'm just speechless.

Have you ever gate-crashed some party? If yes, what was the reaction of the host?

I did some couple of times, but it was an invited gatecrash, and like PJ it's not at all major, you know us Filipinos. Hehehe!

Contest Solicitations: I love contests, and I do get invites and I like to be invited, but to be treated like you owe them because they've invited you is an entirely different message altogether. It shouldn't be a debt, it should be a privilege because they're asking the favor. Sorry, I don't give out showbiz answers so, I may be committing a social suicide here, but then again, let's all be adults.

[I Love-Hate America by Bing]

COTTON CANDY---No I don't mind people not commenting or not visiting...it's not that. I'm bothered with contest solicitors who just plea for requests for the advantage of their blogs, without giving support to the ones they soliciting.

[I Love-Hate America by Bing]

COTTON CANDY --I think we have a different policy in contest solicitations....maybe because I had a bad experience with the first solicitor---asking for sponsorship without even knowing who I am or what product I'm delivering.

CLARISSE---I think I also explained everything in what I've answered to COTTON CANDY

[Mel Alarilla]

How right you are about gate crashing in the Philippines. That is more prevalent during fiestas where just one invited guest will bring along a horde of other guests. I could just surmise the uneasiness of the host to see so many uninvited guests. But Filipinos are very respectful and will never shoo away any uninvited guest. Of course big parties at posh hotels where ushers require invitation cards from guests are different. I could commiserate with you when the person who agreed to meet with you at her house was upset to find you at her daughter's room eating food given to you by her daughters. At least her daughters have more manners. In the Philippines if you want a free meal, you can just go to any wake and the host will graciously offer you food without asking any questions. We are more educated and respectful to the sensibilities of others than Americans. Thanks for your post. God bless you all always.

[Beth]

I probably did gate crashing in the Philippines. he he he. But not here in the US. I don't even go to my in laws without calling them first. It's so different here.

In the Philippines, we really don't mind if our cousins or friends come to our house without telling us first.

[janice negrosa]

well, i think it has nothing to do with food,but i guess this is something to do with their traditions, beliefs and most especially way of thinking, as compared to us Filipino we differ in so many ways and that's a fact. We tolerate many things in life as compared to these people here there lots and lots of differences that you can't hardly even imagine, as i keenly observed people here just simply make simple things/issues really complicated that sometimes i would think that some kind of narrow mindedness, but it isn't the case just the way they are. on the other hand like i had been watching this issue regarding this couple who gate crashed on obama's special summit night well in a way this is something that needs a proper attention as well though it has been sensationalized by media and politics played and gets in between. speculations of this and that and for me its too much, as according to media people white house security is highly observed and this couple must have been invited it just their way of shifting the American people the real issue which need attention like health care and others, in other words this could be consider a white house gimmick. oh dba? nd lang mga artista ang gumigimik white house na rin.san ka pa?

[Kara]

I've just recently been to a wedding, er, actually we organized the entire thing. Part of our plans was to semi-enclose the area because it was on the shore so that potential gatecrashers might think twice coming in. This we did. But in the end, we still added budget for extra food for the potential gatecrashers (there were a few). Sometimes it's not really being selfish to try and ward them off away. It can be because of financial constraints BUT being Filipinos, in the end we can always try and squeeze more into something that has already been set. :)

[Lainy]

I have never gatecrashed in my entire life and I will never do it. I always try to put myself on the shoe of the host. I don't want the host to fall short of food just because I barged in uninvited.

But you are right, in the Philippines, you'll be a persona non grata if you ward-off uninvited guests. But these days, when a party is RSVP, the "no gatepass, no entry" policy is being emphasized by the host. I've attended so many events here and it's not the same as before anymore. Ang gatecrasher nalang maulaw sa iyang kaugalingon. I just don't know in far-flung towns.

There were many occasions when my Prince mentioned to me about how Filipinos acted in some occasions in Sydney. It's a big No! Bo! for them, too. It's rude and they find it unacceptable.

It all boils down to cultural differences and traditions.

[Tina T]

I love when you share information about your customs. Party crashing sounds so terrible, even just the sounds of the words, but when you think about it, it is kind of rude to be so exclusive. Obviously, some events have security issues, like the White House, but most events limit the number more to seem exclusive than for any real reason. When we lived in Nashville, it was common that if someone had family visiting that they would just bring them with them to a party without telling the host. The hosts always had more than enough food, and it would have been rude to turn away these extra guests.