WHY BITCHES DON'T RULE

(After my  previous post about the nice bitches in America, I thought about writing this entry)

"The good man (woman) out of the good treasure of his (her) heart brings forth that which is good, and the evil man (woman) out of the evil treasure of his (her) heart brings forth that which is evil, for out of the abundance of the heart, his (her) mouth speaks." Luke 6:45.

You see it. You hear it. You feel it. You even think it. Today, no one is oblivious to the emergence of the “bitch culture.” Rather, the “culture of the self-righteous angry people.”
Today’s society embraces “being mean” as an acceptable norm of “empowering one self” Meanness and rudeness are elevated into acceptable forms of behavior in every aspect of our lives.  Appalling as it is, the rise of the “bitch culture” is definitely selling.

Pop culture is replete with news and images of celebrities exchanging salty, and snippy repartee to each other.  Even to the extent of showing these stars clawing each other’s faces and tearing each other’s hairs.

Actually, it’s media’s gossip mill. But what sets “bitch culture “ apart from ordinary rumor-mongering is that dissing and debasing have been promoted to be the “means to get everything you want.” Media gloss over people cutting others, showing that being a bitch is perfectly fine and even cool because it’s “what everybody does anyway.”

This is so sad. Almost kind of revolting.  American girls and women deem these “ lies” as ideals to for reverence, respect, and admiration. They think it’s a guarantee to success—in getting whatever they want. Being called a bitch is taken as a compliment. They express it like it’s the “coolest thing” to be. Comedienne Margaret Cho once said, “Whenever anyone calls me a bitch, I take it as a compliment.” One young lady I met told me “she is proud to be a crazy bitch because she can lead the life she want to.” I wonder what kind of life is she leading to.

Take a look at Ann Coulter, the conservative political commentator. She has raised bitchiness to the realm of political banter with her feisty controversial and confrontational bickering. Even in cyberspace, the blogosphere is saturated with “meanness and rudeness”. Like Perez Hilton and the authors of “gofugyourself, “  which elevated degradation of  others as tickets to instant success; guaranteeing hits on their sites.

“Bitchiness” is also used as a marketing tactic, trying to entice especially women that it’s alright to be “mean and sassy enough to stir a pot” to assure you confidence, popularity and empowerment. Everywhere you go, you see merchandise and media emblazoned with “I’m a Certified Bitch”, “Skinny Bitch”, “Bitches Rule” and “Bitches Go to Heaven.”

Generally, through these slogans that boast of being “mean, nasty and snippy” are explicit cries for promoting arrogance. Arrogance is attention-driven. Attention to their miserable cause and anxious selves. They say “docile, sweet and soft-spoken girls” are the doormats and the ones who tail behind on the way to success.  Courtesy and niceness are overruled as the principles of “success-driven women.”

But do you really think “being a bitch” is a plus point that ensures you happiness and peace? If all we aspire for are “empowerment and success,” we’re all just like people queueing up to the gates of hell. Getting our way by all means even if it takes to be mean and nasty is not “empowerment” at all. It just means “you have no power “ to achieve what you really want. It is exactly the opposite. It denotes weakness because real strength doesn’t come out from force.

Many American women believe that being bitchy is just “being assertive, unapologetic, demanding, intimidating, intelligent and fiercely provocative.”

Being assertive is fine. In fact I am assertive. But I can get my point across without hurting anyone’s feeling or making others feel bad. “You don’t have to snap back” in order for the universe to hear you out. Whatever is your message, it’s going to be heard especially if you say the RIGHT words.

On the contrary, success requires you have to be “apologetic” for all your mistakes and even if you’re demanding, you have the option to choose to be intelligent in your words not to provoke resentment and resistance.  Being a bitch is just being “manipulative” and “controlling”. Manipulative and controlling humans don’t soar to the levels of high-esteem. They don’t lord the ladder of success. Therefore, bitches don’t rule.

Bitches are always detested. Many women proclaim “men love bitches”. What men meant is that they don’t like their women to be reliant on them all the time especially on decision-making. They prefer women who can voice her opinions but they don’t mean “mean, salt-mouthed” women.

The “bitch culture” is a warped ideal of “self-affirmation and self-identification.” I think women who like to be called bitches are the ones who are insecure. If a woman knows herself, she can freely express herself without pushing someone down. She doesn’t need to be sarcastic or to step down on others in order to be heard even around contradictions.

It’s so sad that the American society is bombarded with the idea of turning women into nasty, shallow shrews. They think that by being a bitch assures you winning the race. But that’s not the case. When others despise bitches, the bitches don’t rule. Even if they say, “I don’t care if you like me or not, I’m going to bitch around because I am a bitch.” That’s exactly my point. The world doesn’t spin around just one single being. Bitches don’t rule because others see them as either threats or enemies or monsters.  Threats, enemies and monsters are being zapped. Nobody wants to be around them. Nobody cares about them. Nobody loves them. Nobody listens to them.

If you’re a bitch and you’re being despised, people want to get rid of you at any chance. They don’t want to be around you. They don’t care about you. They don’t like you. They don’t listen to you.  If they do listen to you is because you’re scaring them. And that’s not the proper regimen for success nor empowerment. You don’t rule at all.

Why do bitches have all the rage and justify it as something as a weapon to gain something? According to British researchers, women are the angrier sex. They are far angrier than men are. As Albert Einstein said, the rage just dwells in the bosom. Bitches use anger as a tool ---for everything; manipulating, controlling and making themselves feel a little better.

It’s true women are better in expressing feelings than men and that’s an added point when it comes to prolonging the lifespan. Anger, I think, is actually alright. Anger is not a sin but an emotion that should have a “time and place.”  When you act on your anger that causes others’ grief, hurt and misery, then that’s a sin. But you just don’t go “sassing and cutting people’s hearts, ” because you think that you deserve to be heard. That’s being selfish.

We, women should not be deceived by this arising culture because it doesn’t promise us anything but  more anxiety and pain.  Truth to be told, peace is never attained by bitchiness. Nothing comes good from being a bitch but only “loneliness and anguish.” I don’t advocate for not expressing your feelings or sentiments or turning yourself into doormats. That’s not what I meant. We can speak our hearts out. But we should choose our words carefully.

We can vent out or cry out and let ourselves be heard without acting like Cruella Deville that everybody loathes. If we stop being selfish and be smart enough to use the right words, everybody will listen to us or even get them on our sides. We don’t need to be bitches …because bitches really don’t rule.

"There is rash speaking which is like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings health" (Proverbs 12:18).

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a grievous word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise utters knowledge aright, but the mouth of fools pours out folly... A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness therein is a breaking of the spirit" (Proverbs 15:1-4).

"The wise in heart shall be called prudent; and the sweetness of the lips increases learning.... Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and health to the bones" (Proverbs 16:21, 24).

"He who guards his mouth keeps his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction" (Proverbs 13:3).

"The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things" (Proverbs 15:28).

"Whosoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from troubles" (Proverbs 21:23).

"See a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him" (Proverbs 29:20).

"If any man thinks himself to be religious and does not bridle his tongue, he deceives himself and this man's religion is vain" (James 1:26).

"He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips that they speak no guile" (1 Peter 3:10).

"Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for edifying as the need may be, that it may give grace to them that hear" (Ephesians 4:29).

"A grievous word stirs up anger...the mouth of fools pours forth folly" (Proverbs 15:1,2).

"But if you bite and devour one another, take heed that you not be consumed of one another" (Galatians 5:15).

"Therefore you are without excuse, O man, whosoever you are who judges. For in that very thing you judge another, you condemn yourself, for you who who judges practices the same things" (Romans 2:1).

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Comments

[Bill]

You are so true about what you say here. This is becoming the culture. So people are very proud to say that they are one. I really don't understand it. Come check out my other site http://freedomgiver61.com. Take care friend God bless.

[jj]

hi viviene, just read your message in my (fake) lj. thanks for writing back. i purposely left that first comment in cvs's lj to show my support na rin, because i remember you got into a little argument with someone there dati, though i can't remember when that was. anyway, matagal na yun. i do enjoy reading your blog, so keep writing and sharing your insights and ideas. i'll be reading you!

take care!

[Bill]

Holla friend i have a tag for you i hope you can come to my site and check it out. Have a great weekend. :-)

[LP blogger]

great blog, and it's very interesting. now, i know a lot information about this bitches :D and i'll be affraid to communicate with other girls :)

[Sam]

Hi Bingkee,

How are you?

Avoid toxic people like the "bitch" they will just mess your life. Those girls who claimed to be like that don’t own themselves. They are being controlled by the media and wasn’t able to establish their faith. Bitches are mostly controlled by the fallen angels.

Take care always...

[WHITEShadow]

Hi,
Nice blog and I like the way you brought out issues like this.
Can you visit http://blurryfaith.blogspot.com/ and tell me what you think about it.

Thanks
WHITEShadow

[yanjiareny]

I hate this bitchy culture. I woould never be a part of it.

[Joy]

Bitches and angry people are is a big no no here in Aussie, a humanitarian country ignores them to death and put them to jail if provocative.

[crissy]

Hi Bingkee! I will retrieve your email this week :) TC!