WHAT D'YA SAY, YOU HAVE NICE BITCHES TOO?

The first few months I came to this country, especially in the city of New York where I first settled, I was constantly caught in a daze. Better yet, sometimes I was perplexed. Sometimes mortified and at times, petrified. With all the new things I saw and the new things I heard, it's pretty much overwhelming. Learning to master the art of subway commuting was difficult, or getting used to eating cereals for breakfast was very unsatisfying, but much harder was understanding how New Yorkers talk. I frequently find myself saying "What?????"

There now begins the long sojourn of discovering how English can be more confusing than sounding silly. In the midst of being lost in the subway, I usually had these conversations with strangers, " Is this the right train going to Forest Hills?" or "What train do I take going to West 72nd St?" So, they babbled and I would listen intently like a child in elementary, trying to listen and understand the words they used, and attempting to decipher sensibly incoherent (to me) words that are "like new" to me. Of course, these English words they were using were not new neither "Greek" to me. My countrymen and I take pride in understanding and speaking English fluently with much regard to our education backing English as the universal language and the most important  language we should really need to master. After all, English is our 2nd  language. But in New York, at those first few years, English became such a sort of a learning process. Well, not exactly. I mean, I was learning to understand how different their English is compared to the English we learned in school in my tiny country.

True -blue New Yorkers say "Nu Yawhk" for New York and "computeh" for computer. Manhattan is "Ma-he-ten."  The "r " sound in the end of the word disappears when they speak. For example, "doctah (doctor)", "mothah (mother)", "heeh (here)".  And the "o" sound becomes "a" as in "amelet (omelet)" and "aringe(orange). Then that "ringe" bothers me so much. "O-range" is "a-ringe". But when I asked them about the "panoramic ringe",  they were boggled and couldn't even explain why nor couldn't cite any logic of the differences of sounds between the words of "orange" and "range."

I think the way most Americans enunciate their consonants sound “lazily articulated.“ How many times was my face red when I was corrected on my pronunciation of "comfortable" because Americans say "comf-teh-ble".  The same thing with "incomparable." I thought I was hearing a new word when a workmate said it’s “incom-pra-ble.” "Family " becomes "fam-ly" and "comical" is "com-cal".  And I'd say "What?????" again and again and again.

Sometimes the way I and my countrymen translate everything literally to English can eventually mean a whole different meaning because we grew up with a different cognitive framework of environment--- our environment. 

Therefore, translations could end up hilarious. Animals in America have hair except the birds have feathers. To me, hair and feathers are the same. My native cognition tells me so. "Balahibo” (Tagalog) translates to either animal's hair or feathers...and so I understand that it was. Once I said to a co-worker I could not stand cats because of their "feathers". She thought I was joking. Later, I learned, American cats have hair but do not have feathers and American birds have feathers, not hair.

A lot of people in other countries don’t know that the medium of instruction in our schools is English. Our fundamentals for learning it, was of course based on the English alphabet. But we also have a native alphabet which consists of only 20 letters in most of our over 70 indigenous languages. The letter “F” is neither to be found in that alphabet. Some of my countrymen had difficulties in the F and P sounds, usually replacing “p” for “f” sounds.

I was reminded of that anecdote about an  American tourist in our home country who came to dine in a restaurant where the waiter asked him, "Are you 'pinis' sir?" To which the American politely replied, "I'm not pinis. I'm done". The next day, the American dined in the same resto and the same waiter asked, "Are you pinis, Sir Dan?" The American answered, "I'm not penis and my name is not Dan."

But more disconcerting is how I say the "th" sound. My countrymen and I think that it is perfectly alright to replace "th" with "d". Examples of our tolerance with this, we say "D ' Pub", or "D ' Resto-bar" or something like that. We SMS or text "with" as "wid" and "the" as " d.” It took me a long time to get used to speaking the "th" sound properly and distinctly.

Even if I have been staying now in the US for a long time, I still am on the process of learning how to twist, turn and twang my tongue when I speak the English language. Gee, when I was in my tiny islands-nation I thought I was already so good at it.

Therefore there were so many times too that I could not help but laugh it off instead of feeling disgust and embarrassment. It’s like I’m getting used to it. The sounds I hear everyday have actually grown on me.

Before, I said folks as "foks.”  My husband rolled on the floor on the first time he heard me say it. I learned from him that it should be pronounced as "fohwks". Foks sounds like "fucks." LOLZ! My countrymen and I do not have the “ee” and the "ea" sounds in our native language thus we pronounced “ee” and "ea" as the “i” sound. One time, I told my husband that we have to change our bedsheet.  I said, "Babylove, it's time that we change the 'bed-shit' .” He laughed so hard till his belly ached. "Lovey, did you mean the sheet or the shit...remember, shit is not a nice thing."

Learning how to talk the way I would be understand and understand American English can be very strenuous. However, it was quite challenging and fun. With the help of my husband, I learned how to utter "creep" instead of
"crepe" or "beat" instead of "bit" or "teeth" instead of "tit".

Now, which then reminds me about what I had encountered several years ago. During a party I attended where there were lots of Americans, I bragged about  my tiny islands-nation to spice up small talks. Hence I told them about how awesomely gorgeous our country is. I proudly exclaimed, "We have so many beautiful bitches (of course I meant beaches) in my islands-nation". The Americans looked at me first stupefied. After a few seconds they replied in unison, "Yeah, we have lots of bitches in America too". Then I said back, "No you don't have nice 'bitches (beaches) here '". And then they said back, "Oh, you have nice beaches in your country but we have bitches in America."

Oh well, do America have nice bitches too? What d’ya say?

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Comments

[Enjoy the World]

It's interesting. I can understand easily your situation. Because I am working in a UK concern and I have to report to my manager in the UK. Once he said to me angrily "Stoopit". I asked him immediately for the meaning of "stoolpit". He laughed and emailed me,"I told You are a stupid".

[linksys]

hi bingkee,

stumbled upon your blog by way of chuvaness.

this post reminds me of a filipina acquaintance whose american husband made her go through "accent removal classes." clearly in hear case it was her filipino accent he wanted to be rid of. sad, isn't it? anyhoo, in spite of my affinity for all things new york, having lived here for a number of years, i would never want to acquire the accent. surprisingly, whenever i hear it during my travels outside the states, it sounds almost as comforting as hearing one's native philippine dialect.

i have a good ear for accents so i did not struggle with the spoken english language during my early years in ny. having realized that a lot of americans find foreign accents interesting, there were times that i even wished i sounded more exotic.

best,

gemma

[Ria]

I can totally relate with your situation. I came to the UK when I was 9 years old and had to start a new school. I found it difficult at first to understand the language, even though it's English its totally different from American. I got a hard time as I didn't understand most of the slang. But in time I slowly adjusted and now I speak with an English accent. As a child I wanted rid of my Filipino accent once and for all so I could fit in, but now Ive grown up, I think its a shame as I cant speak Tagalog anymore but can understand it. Sometimes my daughter asks me whether I can teach her the tagalog language, and Im ashamed to say that I dont know where to start :(

[tina]

LOL! The English language is definitely a funny and complex thing. But even for those of us native speakers in America we go through the same thing you do in terms of understanding others when we travel outside of our respective regions. I cannot understand what people in the deep south say at all. They claim it's English. I'm not too sure.

[JaneJane]

Oh, Americans with their "nasal twang"... "INERNATIONAL" and "Santa Monica...American: Oh, you mean, Sena Monica."
But try listening/talking to people with British/Australian accent, it's both "mind-blowing and mind-boggling"...BLIMEY!
Thanks for visiting my site.:)

[Bill]

hi came upon your site from another one. This is a great article. I really enjoyed it some parts are so funny. You right if you live on the west cost you talk one way and then if you go to the east coast it is different there. I was born in the mid west maybe i talk both ways LOL. Have a great one.

[bill]

If you want we can exchange links and i will and you to my blog roll and that you will add me. Take care and God bless.

[pinaywife]

love this article. funny in some part but its all so true. i used to work for an international bank's call center and our clients were US. Before we could take calls, aside from learn all about finances, we have to master the art of using "twangs" and sliding our words together and understanding American slang. It was not easy but it was sure very funny..

[IAN]

hi bing
i lived in australia and it was horrible.now i live in new yahk lol,i guess you learn to live with it..whats funnier is the brooklyn accent..nu ma cup of tey..LOL

[Michelle]

We have lots of nice beaches and plenty not so nice bitches. This is too cute; thanks for the link.

You've gotta know though, the language stumbles aren't just because you come from a small island. Folks from Colorado have a difficult time translating New Yorkese too.

[miemiemie]

hahahaha we definitely have nice beeeaches back in the phils..hahaha i died! hahaha ate bing,if u wont mind i'll add you up to my links. :)

[jomerues]

hahaha..funny! this article reminds me to study more on my english before pursuing my american dream! hahaha..:)

[Upholstery Cleaning Austin]

cool blog just happy the way you have placed the article,nice share,keep up :)